Information for Parents & Carers
When your child is struggling
Watching a child or young person struggle can be incredibly difficult. You may know that something isn't quite right but be unsure how best to help. Sometimes young people find it difficult to talk to the people closest to them, even when they have loving and supportive relationships at home.
Counselling can offer a safe, confidential space where your child can explore their thoughts, feelings and experiences with someone outside their family, school or friendship groups.
They don't need to have a diagnosis or be in crisis to benefit from counselling. Sometimes simply having a space that belongs to them, where they feel listened to and accepted, can make a real difference.
What happens when you get in touch?
Before counselling begins, I will usually have an initial conversation with you to find out a little about what has been happening and what has led you to seek support for your child.
This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to consider whether I am the right counsellor for your child.
It is important to me that children and young people understand what counselling is and have a say in whether they would like to take part. Counselling is most helpful when a young person feels that it is something being offered to them rather than something being done to them.
Your child's counselling space
Parents and carers play an important role in supporting a young person, and I welcome relevant information that may help me understand what is happening in your child's life.
At the same time, the counselling relationship is with your child or young person. For trust to develop, they need to know that their counselling space is private and that I won't routinely report back on what they have said or done during sessions.
I will explain confidentiality clearly to both you and your child before counselling begins, including the circumstances in which I may need to share information.
Wherever possible, I aim to work openly and transparently with young people. If you share something with me that I feel needs to be discussed with your child, I will usually talk with you about how we can do this openly rather than holding information about them that they don't know has been shared.
What happens in counselling?
Every child is different, so there isn't one particular way that counselling with me looks.
Some young people want to talk. Others communicate more comfortably through drawing, creative activities, games, sand, play or metaphor.
Often sessions involve a mixture of these things.
My approach is person-centred, which means I don't arrive with an agenda for what your child should discuss or try to make them talk about something before they are ready. I aim to build a trusting relationship in which they can explore what matters to them at their own pace.
How can I support my child?
One of the most helpful things you can do is allow counselling to be your child's space.
It's natural to be curious about what happens in sessions, particularly when you are worried about your child. However, repeatedly asking “What did you talk about?” can sometimes leave a young person feeling that they are expected to provide an account of their counselling.
Instead, you might simply let them know that you hope their session was OK and that you're available if there is anything they would like to share with you.
You don't need to know everything that happens in the counselling room in order to be an important part of supporting your child.
How long will my child need counselling?
There isn't a set answer to this.
Some young people find that a relatively short period of counselling gives them what they need, while others benefit from having support for longer. I don't expect every child to progress at the same pace or work towards a predetermined timetable.
We can review how things are going as the work develops
Choosing a counsellor for your child
Choosing someone to work therapeutically with your child can feel daunting, particularly when qualifications, professional titles and approaches can be difficult to understand.
Children and young people have particular developmental and safeguarding needs, so it is reasonable to ask a counsellor about their training, experience, supervision and professional membership.
I've written a separate guide explaining some of the things you may wish to consider when choosing a counsellor for your child.
→ Read: Looking for a Child Counsellor – Questions Every Parent Should Ask
Thinking about counselling for your child?
If you're considering counselling for your child or young person, you're welcome to get in touch. We can have an initial conversation about what has been happening, what you're hoping for and whether I might be the right person to support them.